Are you a shy guy? Are you having a hard time finding a date? Do you feel it is difficult to express yourself? Do women like shy guys? If you are one of those who feel women don’t like shy guys, then you’re wrong. People are of two kinds. There are the chattier, extroverted, and persuasive type and then there is the second type that is usually introverted and shy.
The first class of men finds it easy to interact with the opposite gender and is compatible with most ladies. They are free-moving, and most girls fall for these kinds of men. The second class of men is good at heart and character and seldom talks. They usually find it challenging to talk mainly because of their shyness. They drag themselves down by convincing themselves that women don’t like shy guys. But this isn’t true in most cases.
The fact is that some women like shy guys and some do not. Most women don’t have anything against shy men, but they prefer confident men. They get confused between men who are shy and men who are not interested. When a guy feels shy and does respond to a woman, he is mistaken for not showing interest whereas the truth behind it is that, “He is shy.” The irony is that most women fail to understand this.
If you are so shy that you can’t speak, express yourself or your feelings, then there is no point in dating or being in a relationship. You need to understand that you have to work on yourself and improve your social skills. You can also relate to the opposite sex just by making a few changes in your behavior. So, in this guide, we are going to give a few tips that will help shy men to have a “date” with their loved ones. Without wasting much time, let’s get started.
Dating tips for shy guys
Show them you exist
Shy men are usually like sheep in the herd. They are the last benchers that go unnoticed most of the time. The first thing that you need to do is make a mark on the girl you wish to date. Do something exciting but straightforward that catches her attention. It can help the women know that you are interested in her. Who knows, she might even turn out to be your perfect match? It might be as simple as opening the door for her, giving her a genuine compliment, or asking her opinion on something. All these simple acts require very little courage. Do not fear and take your first steps toward a happier life.
Start talking and interacting. Talk about your likes and dislikes: What you wish to become, what you expect from a life partner, your hobbies and everything. It might seem complicated for a shy and introverted guy but only at the beginning. So have hope and begin interacting. Once you move closer and show her signs that you love her, eventually she might even fall for you.
There is nothing wrong with trying what you want. Talk to her with eye contact. It is very important. Anyone can text for hours on end with a girl. It doesn’t matter if they are introverts or extroverts. But girls fall for men who dare to talk to women with eye contact. Fix your eyes on her and start talking. Finding a girl online is really good, but try to meet her in real life soon, Interacting online for too long may make you lose confidence. Better to meet her in person and chat. It is better to speak for real than chatting online.
Have a strong intention
If you are looking for a long-term relationship with a girl, then make her listen to your ideas. Talk to her by stating strong intentions. Give the girl a hope about the relationship you are visualizing in the future. Put out of your mind all doubts and be clear in your thoughts.
Girls love guys who talk to them about their future. Discuss plans for your future. It could be on the work you want to do in the future, places where you want to take her or even some romantic ideas. It might boost the girl’s confidence in you and give her more hope. Ultimately this builds a better relationship.
Respect her emotions
It is a relatively simple task for shy guys. Introverts usually give importance to emotions. They have respect for everyone’s feelings, and that is true in case of a relationship too. A girl will typically expect the guy to respect her feelings and emotions. Give her space. It is easy to stay detached for a while for a shy guy, which helps you to create some personal space. When you do this, you build a healthy relationship. It is a significant reason why Girls like shy guys.
Put away your nervousness
It is the nature of shy guys to feel nervous, shiver and sweat for the first time when they talk to girls. But do not complicate it. Keep it simple and talk with confidence. It might seem difficult initially, but hiding it is the only option left. Gradually, over some time, you will feel relaxed and easy-going. The right girl will help you by making you comfortable and caring about your emotions. Take it slowly and surely.
Make the move
It is always men who ask a woman out. It is the trend even in these days. But does it have to always be like that? NO!
Women these days are persuasive. They are strong enough to ask a guy out. So, there is no need to experience fear in asking a girl out. Make your move first and show her you care. Being shy is not a barrier. It is all linked to your thoughts. It is up to you to convince your mind and it is okay to fail sometimes. Maybe the first girl you ask might not accept you? But it doesn’t always have to be so. Have some hope. Try someone else you like. Do not let the first experience put you off trying again. Believe in luck and trust yourself and give it a try again.
If you are fortunate, the first girl you date might turn out to be your better half in the future. In that case, take it seriously and try to put away your shyness. If not with others, at least make yourself comfortable in private. Girls will require and expect this kind of emotion. Keep yourself cool-headed.
It is okay to be inexperienced
Shy guys always have the illusion that girls do not usually like to interact with naive and inexperienced guys. But that isn’t the truth. Girls do have a reasonable opinion of shy guys as well. Believe strongly in this. You might even find a girl who is introverted and awkward to approach. And eventually, the same kind of people may get along together. There are endless possibilities in a relationship. Each one is unique and different. No two people have the same nature. There is also no perfect combination.
A shy guy may fall in love with a shy girl or even an extroverted girl. It is possible either way. So, believe in these endless combinations and work your way into her life.
Do not feel insecure
Insecurity is a hitch in most relationships. When insecurity peeks its ugly head, relationships fail. It is the same for both guys and girls. Shy guys usually feel insecure and their potential partner may find it difficult. It creates a space in their relationship. So, do not hesitate to speak out. Lock yourself in the bond and begin to change your attitude.
It is okay to stumble for words on your first date. It is okay to feel shaky and uncomfortable. But eventually, everything negative has to disappear. Start focusing on this and adapt to the change. Stop over-thinking and fantasizing about things in your head and what is expected to happen, will happen. Everything has to fall in place. So do not complicate things in your head or overthink things.
Is it okay to be honest?
Yes, of course. Now saying all that, it does have some impact on the relationship. Sometimes opening up can solve problems. Tell your partner about the difficulties you are facing. Tell them that it is difficult for you to know what to say. Opening up problems might solve them all but keep things simple. They might even understand your difficulties and help you overcome these drawbacks. It can help you build a happier relationship.
As said above, relationships are complicated and a huge ocean of potential discovery. Any combination is possible. Have some faith and keep it simple. Build confidence, break the barriers, and open up your heart. The perfect partner will love you no matter what kind of person you are. Despite these difficulties and complications, the right person will love you the right way.
Remember that dating is fun. Do not take things to heart and do not let setbacks drag you deep into negativity. Have some hope and begin your dating expedition. There is no such thing as a perfect couple; you have to work your way forward to make it complete.
What makes the shy guy awesome?
They are self- reflective
Shy guys are usually well-tuned with emotions, and they already know how to control their emotions. Most of them are generally great thinkers, and exceptionally some are good with academics. So, they are usually referred to as “Wicked smart.” Self-reflection is great, and there is a lot of detail in what they do. They often keep their minds on what they want to do and tend not to care about the gossips or other people’s opinions.
Interestingly, they have more time and space for themselves. Although a lot of people think they hide their character though this isn’t the case. Their behavior is their character.
You can know his best
In a dating phase, most girls do not want their partner to talk about them behind their backs. They have a very close relationship with them. Once girls start dating the shy guy, they become open in the relationship. They start sharing things that others don’t know. What’s great about the shy guy is that he can be trusted and trust is half of the relationship. It has also been proven that the introvert guys connect on various emotional levels as you get to know them. And the most exciting part comes when they are surprisingly intimate with their partner, and it becomes exclusive.
They are listeners
Now talking about the communication in a relationship, it gets harder as you see the shy guy does not open up very quickly. You need to move closer than you usually do. But they are damned good listeners on the other side of the coin. They may not be okay with you posting the screenshots of the text messages they sent you. However, in reality, he is excellent at keeping secrets and could be extraordinary.
First of all, you have the confidence to know you can share anything with him. It can be your fears, nightmares, fights at home, stupid things at college, your idiotic professors, and presentation for tomorrow’s class. Anything and everything – He is there to listen to you.
He is all about you
Now! It may sound cheesy but it’s true. Any shy guy can be desirable. He will eventually share not just his past or his stories, but he will share a well-established bond with you. He may not be the man of your dreams straight away. Jessica Morley, in her book, says, “Bad boys, confident boys, look back on it and start thinking.” She means they are highly competitive in their relationships.
Hence, you need to choose a shy guy. Also, if you have ever dated a shy guy, you may never feel like going back to someone who is flirty and loud. Also, in Beverly Hills, a psychiatrist confirms that compared to the flirtatious and guys that think they are coolest, shy guys always stay with you a long time. They break your heart, but they keep coming back to you.
Why and how should shy guys develop their social skills?
Okay! Now we have said everything about the perks of being a shy guy. Even though we have covered a lot, there is a time when the guy needs to be socially present. For example, you invite them to your cousin’s wedding or introduce them to your colleagues. It’s hard to make them aware of their surroundings. Also, it’s awkward at a gathering and he may find himself struggling to enter a conversation, which can impact both his personal life and career. So, here are the necessary steps that are to be taken to become less shy.
Understand that shyness is Normal
It is one of the most crucial aspects to overcoming shyness. Shyness is normal, and there is nothing wrong with it. With little experience of shyness, some people assume that they have something mentally wrong with them. The reality is everyone feels shy, but it is the degree that varies, and it can be like that throughout life. Even many public figures are shy, and some people manage it well. If they can do it, then anybody who is shy can do it. Therefore, accepting that shyness is common is the most important thing to overcome and once you accept this fact, you will see that the problem becomes less debilitating.
Start with small steps
Going to a party or spending time with the crowd may initially be overwhelming. So, start from small places like grocery stores or a meal at the restaurant. Appreciate people and say thank you now and then. There is no need to talk, but being ready to meet, itself, is a huge step toward taking it forward. Slowly, you can ask open-ended questions to develop conversations. Choose people who interest you or who you think are patient enough to make chitchat. Don’t think about the possibilities of making conversations. Instead, ask a question to make the opposite person curious about you. That means they do most of the talking.
Threatening situations are survivals
Social anxiety is predominant and has deep roots, but it is something you can overcome. Even though you want to try, you may feel that the stress of the situation is too much for you. Shy men often have the idea that they are not as good as others but the truth is that we are now living in a modern era where people can try communicating on different platforms. Therefore, it is necessary to understand that socially awkward moments are meant for survival. You may be bad at talking to others but for how long? You need to break the shell one day and start talking. You can always survive and be the best version of yourself.
People don’t like you – So what?
Now, this is the most depressing and critical question shy men ask themselves. After you try developing social skills for the first time, you may wonder what will happen if you fail. There is nothing you can do about it except the fact that you are going to ignore it. Success breeds when you overcome shyness. The more you see yourself managing anxiety and balancing your skills, the less you are going to be threatened day by day. Make some eye contact with people that you meet during the course of your day. Get the conversations going even if you feel that people are mocking you. The more you practice, the better you will get at it.
There are non-threatening situations
What is the real threat here? You don’t have that problem with talking to your mom or dad. Practice your social skills with family members and their friends. Try taking them to different types of restaurant and you can order for them. Be gentle to yourself and build your confidence. Also, this is a digital era and you don’t have to speak upfront. Use social media platforms and other tools to improve your skills.
If you write, then start blogging with simple topics. Publish them and share them. It can be embarrassing at first, but when you meet the real audience, you are going to come out of your shell. Social skills are really beneficial to you. Things will not go smoothly all the time. Thus if you keep practicing and make sure you recognize your strengths and weaknesses, you will find this helps you in awkward situations.
Sometimes relationships become complicated chapters in most people’s lives. The primary reason behind this is the inability of individuals to express emotions adequately and convey them to their partners efficiently. At that point, shy men need to know that healthier communication between couples is the foundation of a successful relationship. It, in turn, solves most problems and leads to happier and healthier lives together.
Once you know how to solve your relationship problems, you will understand the fact that women love-shy men. Their quiet and calm nature is most attractive to women. According to a psychologist, most women fall in love with men who are quiet, smooth and relaxed. Shyness is just a mental barrier and overcoming it is simple. The first step to break shyness is to break the barrier called fear.
Women prefer dating guys who are shy but one major drawback in this is that there is a need for certain social skills that will require the girl to accept them. It is not just for your own sake; social skills help to improve your career and your social life. To keep the relationship going, shy men have to come out of their shells and learn to trust. It is not as difficult as many assume and practicing certain skills helps you excel in the relationship.
Read also this post: Do Women Like Introverted Men?