It is hard for lot of men to meet new people because they are shy. They wonder what it is that they could do to meet new people. Nobody is aware of what characteristics constitute toward being shy since this varies from one person to the next. Research states 45 percent of adults believe they are shy. If you think you are shy, trust me, you are not the only one.
It is, however, essential for you to remember it is difficult even for non-shy people to make new friends. You need to put yourself out there, and unless you are someone who enjoys being around other people, it can be hard to strike up a conversation.
A millennial life and career coach, Jenn DeWall, told the Bustle the first step toward making new friends is to change the mindset. It can be uncomfortable and intimidating to meet new people and to be in new environments, and this is totally normal. Now you know that almost half the population believes they are shy, you need to do the math. You will note that you are not the only shy person in the room. So, you can find comfort in the fact that you are not the only person stepping out of your comfort zone.
So, let us look at some tips to learn how to meet people when you are shy.
Use Your Vulnerability As Your Strength
Apart from changing your mindset, you should always be okay with your vulnerability. It is not easy for most men to do this, but it allows you to pull your walls down. This will make it easier for you to let people in, and there is no harm in letting people know you are shy. If you believe this is difficult for you to do, think about all those times when you were uncomfortable, but you pushed yourself and were able to do something new or meet new friends. Draw on these experiences to inspire yourself.
Go To Meet-Ups
It is always a good idea to meet people who share the same or similar interests as you. Shared interests can be a great way to start conversations. These interests make it easier for you to connect with others and also open up. This may seem quite obvious to you, but there are times when it is hard to see the obvious.
If you do go to meet-ups and other get-togethers, you will be forced to interact with people, and this will help you. If you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable and admit you are not very comfortable at the moment, that itself will act as an icebreaker.
Try Sweat working
Yes, you read it right. Try sweat working. Sweat working is networking with people while you work out. Regardless of whether it is yoga, the gym, SoulCycle class, or anything else, these situations are a great way to meet new people. Why do you think this is so? It is because you have a common interest or activity that can get a conversation going.
Try to start small conversations with the people around in your class. Ask them if they have been to the class before. You can also ask them for any recommendations for another class. You can be sure that you have common ground because you are all in the same class already. Use that to help you start the conversation.
Bumble is not only for dating. There is a feature in Bumble called bumble biz that allows you to network with other people. You can also use the feature Bumble BFF to make new friends. You can use Bumble to meet people who have similar interests. You can also communicate with them online before you meet them. This will help you bolster your confidence and also work on stop being shy.
Start A Recreational Sport
It is rightly said that there is no ‘I’ in team. When you are on a team and are focusing on winning the game, you will come out of your shell without realizing it. A team sport is the best way to give yourself a mental boost. So, why not consider joining a team? Regardless of which recreational sport you choose to join, you can join only as an individual, and based on your skills, you are placed in a team.
You can then continue to make conversation with the team members because you share the same interest. You can also use the sport as a distraction when you begin to feel shy.
If you are very uncomfortable and do not want to ask your coworkers to hang out with you outside of work, you can start by asking them if they want to grab a cup of coffee. You can use time at work to push past the awkwardness you feel when you try to get to know someone. You spend close to 45 hours a week with your colleagues so use them to widen your circle or meet new people. You can overcome your shyness easily when you do this.
How To Approach Women When You Are Shy?
The tips above will help you work on meeting people despite being shy, but how do you make sure that you are confident enough to speak to women? Let us look at some tips to help you approach women when you are shy.
When you want to show people you are confident, you should learn to project that confidence. You cannot do this unless you are sure that you look good in public. When others think you look good, you will start to feel better about yourself. You can overhaul your wardrobe, and get rid of clothes that people your age do not wear.
Ensure that you are well groomed. If you have facial hair, make sure that you groom it well. You should also try to stay fit. Make sure that you put in the required effort to look good.
Use good posture and body language
If you have bad posture, it leads people into believing that you do not have enough confidence or that you are lazy. You should stand straight, keep your hands to your sides and smile. Spend some time observing people around you and see how they carry themselves. Do not hunch over, and stop fidgeting.
Remember to always be polite. You will alienate the women around you if you come off as rude, uncouth, or a slob. Learn to act politely and treat everybody the right way. When a woman sees you treating other women well, it will help her understand the kind of guy you are.
Develop a sense of humor
If you do not have a funny bone in you, you should work on it. Develop a sense of humor when you can. When you are humorous, you can put people at ease even when you are nervous. Try to develop a sense of humor so you can insert some humor when you feel awkward.
Hang out with women as friends
You should make an effort to spend some time around women. You should make an effort to be friends with some women. Spend time with them and get to know them. When you do this, you will learn how women think and see how different they are from men.
Make your interest known verbally
If you want to avoid being considered as a friend, you should make your interest known right from the start. Before you ask her out, get to know her and spend some time with her. If you are sure she feels the same way and you feel connected with, you can let her know.
Demonstrate your interest non-verbally
When you show your interest non-verbally, you can move out of being thought of as a friend. You can move the relationship along as well. Based on how the woman reacts, you can learn more about how she may react if you ask her to go out with you. Learn to look into the girl’s eyes at the right time and smile. This will show her you are interested in what she has to say. If she rejects your advances stop right then.
Talk to her
When you speak to her, you can connect better with her. Try to identify the common points and always pay attention to what she has to say. Never be someone you are not. Do not lie to her to make her like you, because she will most definitely find out.
Call her the day after your date
If you have gone out on your date, ensure you call her back the next day. You can take the relationship forward when you converse with her. When you continue to talk to her, you can ask her out again. Tell her you had a great time and you want to see her again.
Get to know her better
Try to learn more about her when you go on your second date. It will be easier to make conversation with her on the second date because you already know each other a little bit. It is important to remember you can move forward in a relationship only when you talk to each other.
Communicate with her when you aren’t together
Try to communicate with her when you are not together. After you have gone out on a few dates, you should try to keep in touch regularly. You do not have to keep in touch with her every moment of every day. You should try to keep in touch with her every day or every other day. Try to keep the communication two-sided. Try to create a deeper bond by keeping in touch with her.
You should continue to do this until you are in a committed relationship. You should always stay on your game and work on improving yourself. Exude confidence and meet the right people. These tips will not cure you of being shy, but they will help you move in the right direction. It is important to remember that we are all trying. All you need to do is trust yourself and value yourself.